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Feedback from professor has been received, I need this paper edited and I need c
Feedback from professor has been received, I need this paper edited and I need citations moved around; here is the feedback:
Nice work here but there are some areas needing improvement as well.
First and foremost is your formatting- you have inconsistent fonts in several spaces, and you should be using EndNote to insert your citations- it will make sure that you adhere to the style guidelines for APA.
Your introduction could have more information to clearly illustrate the disparity you are trying to highlight with this paper, and you have some claims missing citations (particularly your first paragraph). What you have is solid, but you can incorporate a lot more background information here.
You have the information you need in your methods for the most part, but your writing here is very verbose. I revised a paragraph as an example, but for further guidance you should consult the examples on ELC for a how-to on a minimalist methods section.
Thematically your results look good, but within each theme you need to do a better job of deliberately explaining the ramifications of what you are citing for individuals of low ses. Similar to your methods, I think you can trim a lot of what is written here- I would focus on clearly laying out the findings of the papers you are citing, and leaving the synthesis/conclusion part to the discussion section. A sentence of this at the end of each theme is okay, but doing it for each paper is excessive- lots of clarification needed. I also only count 11/15 citations here. Make sure that ONLY articles that are cited in your results appear in that table.
Your discussion is solid at this stage, good job highlighting multiple solutions there. My recommendation here is to comb back through and make sure you are being concise as a whole. See the attached for more detailed feedback.
-1 (APA format)
-4 (11/15 citations in results)
-5
15/20
I am attaching the rubric along with an example literature review (my document has comments on it which need to be revised). There will need to be some but minimal research done but all of the sources are given in the excel file attached
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