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1st classmate
Dreams Deferred
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache
1st classmate
Dreams Deferred
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”-Napoleon Hill. My name is Khadeen Griffiths and this is my guiding philosophy stemming from a childhood disappointment.
I was born and raised on the beautiful island of Jamaica. Growing up in a family of five with my older sister, younger brother, and parents in the garden parish of St. Ann, my life was very simple. I was a happy child with a great imagination and dreams of being a future lawyer or doctor. Even as a child, I have always believed that hard work and determination are the keys to a successful and rewarding life. I have spent my entire life working diligently to achieve my dreams one at a time.
My dreams were not just in my head, I spent my formative years in schools studying and working hard with the aim to one day pass my primary exams and matriculate to one of Jamaica’s most prestigious all-girls high schools. See, in Jamaica, the high school you attend is very important (a life-defining opportunity) whereas in other countries where colleges matter more. Like Serena Williams, I have always believed that to be the best, you must surround yourself with the best.
I thought my dreams would finally become reality in the year 2001, after years of doing well in school and sitting my exams; I was positive that my dreams were becoming a reality. Unbeknownst to me, my dreams would be crushed like a sandcastle against heavy tide when the results were announced in June 2001. The process of going to my dream school involved not only getting good grades but also my parents completing documentation to select the school of my dreams. My dad did not share my aspirations and instead decided to make a different choice on my behalf.
My dreams were nonexistent! For the first time in my life, I felt disappointment. I thought I was not good enough to achieve my dreams. Life as I knew it was about to change, I was losing not just my first big dream as a child. I was about to be separated from the friends I spent the last 6 years of Primary School with, “They were all going to my dream school without me,” I contemplated. As one would imagine this was very depressing for a 12-year-old who had to come to grip with this disappointment. “Why was I not good enough and how would my life turn out?” were some of the questions I would ask myself.
I believed not being able to attend the best school also meant my life would be altered forever and I would potentially never achieve great success. Life, however, has a way of humbling even the most confident person. It took some time, but I did settle into my new high school and eventually made new friends and slowly began to dream and make plans for my future. A part of me has always questioned what went wrong. The truth is it took me years to discover that my failed dream was not because of my failure but due to my dad’s choices. As one would expect a part of me blamed him for my trajectory in life. Here is the humbling part: I have learnt that one decision can change your life for the better or worse depending on how you choose to handle disappointment.
Some dreams are meant to be actualized others are meant to be just dreams. My dad’s choices were based on what he thought was best for the entire family, not just me. My dreams would have cost my family thousands of dollars that they could not afford. Dreams are sometimes based on fairy tales that are void of reality. I believed that to achieve my life goals, I needed to follow a prescribed path. Life is filled with corners and bumps along the way and time and experience have taught me that unconventional paths are just as good as traditional ones to achieve my dreams. This idea is shared by Goodrich (2019) who postulates, “Failed dreams are not tombstones; they are stepping stones.” Quality of life and success can be achieved by following the best path for you, which may not be everyone else’s. The best schools, education, surroundings, family, and friends do not equate to success. Failed dreams do not parallel failure in life, opportunities exist in every failure to find a new dream and work towards it. This disappointment helped to shape the person I am today as I live by the following quote from Bruce Lee (2015) who stated, “In every failure lies the seed of opportunity; in every disappointment, there’s a chance to begin again.”
2nd classmate
The Confident Writer
Professor Nazareth Darakjian
May 8, 2024
Resilient
Why me? Why now? How could this happen? Why did this happen? These are all the questions running through my head. I did not say this verbally because I really did not want anyone to make sense of the situation.
It is November 5, 2005, a day I will never forget it changed everything in my family dynamic. I headed downstairs to go to school; nana was in the kitchen reading her paper at the table as usual. My mom was already at work, my dad was taking my sisters to school because he was off of work today. I remember the day being sunny a little cool but not cold. After school I came home, my dad was outside with my sisters and he said, “Let’s go to the mall.” At the time he had a black Dodge Ram 2500 pickup truck, inside he had TVs installed in the back seats so that my sisters and I would be entertain while he was driving. He also had spinners on his wheels which I thought were nice. When we returned home from the mall we ate dinner, then we went downstairs in the basement that was dads man cave. He had his motorcycle Posters on the walls and family pictures, our dog’s name Bear stayed down there most of the time. My dad and I were playing football on the video game, my sisters were playing with their toys. Then all of sudden my dad starts coughing and throwing up. He took a couple of puffs of his asthma inhaler, but he kept coughing and spitting. Afterwards he ran upstairs and told us to stay in the basement, but I did not listen. I followed him outside in front of the house. He was signaling to me that he couldn’t breathe, so I shouted to nana to call the ambulance. Meanwhile I’m looking at my dad. He looks up and falls to his knees and I grabbed him and held him and felt him take his last breath. The ambulance arrived in 10 minutes which seemed like an eternity. The guy was telling me to let go but I did not register it. Next thing I know my grandmother grabbed me and said let go of your father so they can work on him. I let go, they hooked a machine on his chest, they stuck an Iv in him, they put an oxygen mask on him, then they took him and nana to the hospital. I knew deep down inside that he didn’t make it, but I said nothing to my sisters. When mom arrived home from work, I told her dad had an asthma attack and nana is at the hospital with him. She said ok and I said mom we need to go to the hospital and see him now. So, we got in the car and went to the hospital which was ten minutes away. When we arrived my grandmother was outside smoking cigarette which she hasn’t done in years. We went in the doctors took my mom to the back after a while she told us to come in the room. It was a white sheet over my dad, my sister Ebby screamed, my other sister just stood there, and I couldn’t move. We left the hospital and I feel like I’m drowning, mind you I am a sixteen-year-old high schooler. All that is running through my head was my dad saying, “You are the man of the house, take care of your mother and sisters.” He always told me this whenever he left the house. I’m too young for this, I’m too young for this, this cannot be happening to me.
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