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Revise this paper according to the suggestion of the professor:
Global Comment:
Revise this paper according to the suggestion of the professor:
Global Comment: This is solid work, but it needs additional revision and polishing before it’s ready for prime-time. Strengths of the screenplay include the scene work and dialogue, though I think some of that could be cut down in favor of more balance between action and dialogue in the final version. Strengths of the craft essay include the analysis of the story’s themes. But the craft essay is also where more revision could be done. You took a step forward with source integration by providing MLA citations, but you took two steps backwards because you did not cite assigned sources, as the assignment specifies. Also, you won’t maximize your score in the craft essay category unless you more substantively engage with both your screenplay and the secondary sources. Therefore I strongly urge you to integrate quotes. See the WARP exercise on quoting and the lesson on integrating sources in Week 2 for more on this. I really want to see you master this skill, because if you do, it will set you up well in this assignment and in the final E-port to maximize the scores. Finally, you need a stronger argument. Focus on clarifying the message and purpose first before diving into the fancy language about “communication media” and “ethical foundations.” This all sounds very smart but right now each of these thoughts is incomplete because it’s not clear what message you’re articulating or what specific audience you’re trying to reach. Nail those down first. Looking forward to reading the final draft!
The doc document is the previous draft you have written; The pdf draft contains all the primary and secondary sources assigned that is allowed in this assignment. The other pdfs are the assigned readings. No outside sources allowed.
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